Here is a story 'bout a man named ...Buck?
Ya know this sounds like the makings of another great Disney movie!
Let's see..... we start out w/a feeble minded old fart sportsman, who buys a cabin on a carp infested lake. Don't worry about the carp starving. They're fed by the neighbors, Micky & Minnie, & Donald & Daisy, on each side of the cabin w/Iams dog food. Having been convinced by Stephine Boyles, wildlife biologist, that they deserve the best because there is such a thing as Fish_Rights, ya know.
Now Buck, short for bucktail the orginator of this mega-million dollar movie & not so much because he may resemble the star character, has an encounter w/ this flying squirrel, Rocky (if you can think of a better name have at it). Rocky also is a new resident to this high moral & super ethic community because of the lack of tormenting raccoons, who have left the area because nothing in the dumpsters is eatable because nothing is wasted, & because the carp are so big they're afraid to go near the water to wash their food they do find.
Buck finds he has something in common w/ Rocky for he too came there to get away from the tormenting city trash where he grew up in a Columbus suburb.
Buck lets Rocky move in as he long as he abides by Bucks code of ethics which include not chewing on the cabin. Rocky, being of great moral character(has to be to meet Buck's code) says there is no problem even with the chewing part because he heard there are lots of nuts in the area.
Buck & Rocky learn of a bowfishing tournament from a depressed Swedish resident named Oide, a salmon flyfisherman. Oide is depressed because the salmon no longer rise to take his fly. He is sure the salmon have switched to eating dog food because 40 million carp can't be wrong! He's not positive though since he hasn't seen a salmon to ask him. (this is a Disney movie so they talk to the animals, alright?)
Just as Oide finished telling Buck & Rocky of the tournament Mickey & Donald stroll up & ask why all the dumpsters are needed for a tournament at the community park tomorrow.
Mickey & Donald gasp as they learn what's happening for they are at the top of the list for the Iams Dog Food Contest for buying the most dog food. The prize being an all expense paid trip for four to (you guessed it) Disney World! No carp, no need for dog food!
That night Buck puts on his old military uniform. It's tight, but he's in it. Then he & Oide grab a couple of buckets of grease & paint brushes to paint the inside of the bowfishing boats so at just the right time the bowfishers slip & fall into the lake. They aren't hurt or drowned because they fall on the backs of the carp which are so thick they get up & walk across their backs to shore.
Mean while Rocky chews part way though the bow strings so that when they pull their stings back they break & the bow hits them in the groin.(ouch!)
Mickey & Donald rig up a boobytrap w/ a log & a bunch of rocks so that when everyone leaves the camp to start bowfishing a rope is pulled & the log & rocks roll down the hill destroying the camp.
The next morning the lake community residents are armed w/ kids bows w/the suctioncup tipped arrahs (they just happened to have). After all the mayhem is unleashed they send a barrage of arrahs at the bowfishermen hitting them in the forehead (of course), butt (of course), groin(ouch again), & just all over. (but never the eyes then the movie wouldn't be fun any more) The bowfishermen run off swearing never to come back as well as just swearing. As they're leaving the residents yell
"Now you know how the carp feel!"
The carp, who haven't said a word the whole movie, wonder when they're going to get some more dogfood & dream of spawning & just follow their heart.
THE END.
Man jeffmo I think I got writers cramp! I know who said I was a writer?
Now will someone tell me what talking to a flying squirrel in your attic has to do with trapping & varmint hunting?
The next thing ya know we'll have a thread in whitetail hunting about the merits (?) of the Bambi movie.
As you can tell my kids subjected me to to many Disney movies.
