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Subject: ELECTIVE SURGERY...

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably
won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going
to
be OK...you'll walk again and everything, but your "tally whacker" was severed in the
accident and we couldn't find it."

The man
groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have approximately $9,000 in
insurance compensation coming which has been allocated to this
particular aspect of the post-accident reconstruction and we now have the
technology to build a new "tally whacker". They function well, but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1,000 an inch."

The man
perks up. "So," the doctor says, "you must decide how many
inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over
thirty years and I feel this is something you should discuss with your wife.
If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a
bit put out. Alternatively, if you had a nine incher before and you
decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed.
What I'm trying to convey is that it's important that she plays a role in
helping you make a decision." The man agrees to talk it over with
his wife.

The
doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"

"Yes
I have," says the man.
"And
has she helped you make a decision?"
"Yes"
says the man.
"What
is your decision?", asks the doctor.
"We're
getting granite countertops."
 
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