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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Depending on the smell, this may have been justified.:whistle:

http://www.northjersey.com/news/Police_Teaneck_man_72_accused_of_threatening_neighbor_with_gun.html

Police: Teaneck man, 72, pointed gun at neighbor over flatulence

TEANECK - A 72-year-old man is accused of threatening his neighbor with a gun for farting outside his apartment, police said.
PHOTO/TEANECK POLICE DEPARTMENT
Daniel Collins

Daniel Collins Jr. is accused of pointing a silver revolver at his 47-year-old neighbor in the vestibule of their Cedar Lane apartment building and saying, "I'm going to put a hole in your head." The confrontation occurred after Collins said his neighbor farted as he walked in front of Collins' apartment, said Detective Lt. Andrew McGurr.

Collins told detectives he heard the un-neighborly act from inside his apartment. The neighbor called police, who found a revolver under the front passenger seat of Collins' vehicle.

The gun, a .32-caliber Taurus revolver, fit the description the neighbor gave investigators, McGurr said.

Collins was charged with aggravated assault, unlawful possession of a firearm, possession of a weapon for an unlawful purpose and terroristic threats. He was released on his own recognizance, McGurr said.

The men had an ongoing dispute stemming from noise complaints, McGurr said.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
I bet you he gets off by claiming Gastle doctrine as his defense.

Or possibly a "stand your smell" law justification.

I guess the perp should have used a suppressor.:whistle:
 

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I bet you he gets off by claiming Gastle doctrine as his defense.

Or possibly a "stand your smell" law justification.

I guess the perp should have used a suppressor.:whistle:
That was bad in more ways then one-:p:biggrin::whistle:
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
That was bad in more ways then one-:p:biggrin::whistle:
I'm surprised there hasn't been more people on here making potty humor comments about this story.

The site has been a little too serious and dry lately. I'm just trying to bring a little levity to the forum.

Let's see what other "comments" or judgements people can come up with about this story.
 

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Not sure why the thread is about conceal carry. However I could see a valid conceal carry permit holder to claim the silent but deadly defense

OutdoorHub Mobile, the information engine of the outdoors.
 

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I'm surprised there hasn't been more people on here making potty humor comments about this story.

The site has been a little too serious and dry lately. I'm just trying to bring a little levity to the forum.

Let's see what other "comments" or judgements people can come up with about this story.
Roses are red
violets are pink
u stink :whistle::mischeif:
 

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After he pointed the gun at his head it might have been more than flatulence he was smelling!!
 

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Of course Collins heard it; the guy didn't have a permit for a silencer. A .32 Taurus is a wimpy response to a weapon of mass destruction! Maybe Collins was a Kurd?:D
 

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With all this talk about "gas" it gave me some "fuel" for thought and this joke came to mind-


A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course, became confused as to where he was on the course.

Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing.

She replied, “I’m on the 7th hole, and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole.”

He thanked her and went back to his golf. On the back nine the same thing happened; and he approached her again with the same request. She said, “I’m on the 14th hole, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th hole.”

Once again he thanked her and returned to his play.

He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw the same lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady.

The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often.

He approached her and said, “Let me buy you a drink in appreciation for your help. I understand that you are in the sales profession. I’m in sales, also. What do you sell?”

She replied, “If I tell you, you’ll laugh.”

“No, I won’t.”

“Well, if you must know,” she answered, “I work for Tampax.”

With that, he laughed so hard he almost lost his breath.

She said, “See I knew you would laugh.”

“That’s not what I’m laughing at,” he replied.“I’m a salesman for Preparation H, so I’m still "a hole" behind you!”:biggrin:


next..............................
 

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An elderly couple was in church and the husband looked over to see his wife figeting and wringing her hands.
"What's wrong" he asked.
"I couldn't help it, a silent one just slipped out. Now what should I do?" she replied.
"I think you should change the batteries in your hearing aide", he retorted.:D

Next...
 

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FINALLY... a topic that he has some expertise in!! :)

Or... could he just be the neighbor in question since the neighbor was never identified?

Come to think of it... how DO you quantify such an action? Is passing gas gauged by some kind of caliber, or is it based on gas volume, or even the sound of the report? How DOES someone describe the pungent-ness, the linger-ness, and the area covered by such an act?
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
i find it amusing that this was brought to us by broken wind...:D choot 'im liz...:D
Why do you think I posted it?:biggrin:

I have 5 boys who love to hold "competitions" with each other, much to the displeasure of my wife and daughter. Farting has become somewhat of a competitive sport around my house.

Nothing lightens (or kills) the mood when your sitting somewhere like church and your 7 year old lifts his cheeks and echos one off the pews during a quiet moment.
 

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Why do you think I posted it?:biggrin:

I have 5 boys who love to hold "competitions" with each other, much to the displeasure of my wife and daughter. Farting has become somewhat of a competitive sport around my house.

Nothing lightens (or kills) the mood when your sitting somewhere like church and your 7 year old lifts his cheeks and echos one off the pews during a quiet moment.
:yikes::yikes: Depending on the wind direction at the time, I envision the parting of the seas- I mean pews- at that point.:biggrin:
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
:yikes::yikes: Depending on the wind direction at the time, I envision the parting of the seas- I mean pews- at that point.:biggrin:
I actually felt bad for my wife at that point. I usually have to sit up near the pulpit during service while my family sits in the pews. This happened a few weeks ago just after the prayer had been said and it was still quiet. A loud brapppp sounded and I look down. My 7 year old has a grin from ear to ear, looking at me for approval. The other 5 kids are trying to hold the laughter in, while the rest of the congregation is all looking directly at them, with a few moving away from the epicenter. I see my wife looking like she wants to crawl down and lay on the floor out of view. All I could do is smile back at my boy. He's definitely my son.

Is it wrong to feel a slight sense of pride when something like that happens?:D
 
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