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12 Step Program for Cronic Emailers !!

Discussion in 'Comedy' started by mrfish/OH, Jan 2, 2003.

  1. 12-STEP PROGRAM FOR CHRONIC E-MAIL FORWARDING

    NOW, EVERYONE SAY IT WITH ME . . .

    1. I will NOT get bad luck, lose my friends, or lose my mailing lists if I
    don't forward an email!

    2. I will NOT hear any music or see a taco dog, if I do forward an e-mail.

    3. Bill Gates is NOT going to send me money, Victoria's Secret doesn't know
    anything about a gift certificate they're supposed to send me.

    4. Ford will NOT give me a 50% discount even if I forward my e-mail to more
    than 50 people!

    5. I will NEVER receive gift certificates, coupons, or freebies from Coca
    Cola, Cracker Barrel, Old Navy, or anyone else if I send an e-mail to 10
    people.

    6. I will NEVER see a pop-up window if I forward an e-mail ... NEVER --
    NEVER !!

    7. There is NO SUCH THING as an e-mail tracking program, and I am not STUPID
    enough to think that someone will send me $100 for forwarding an e-mail to
    10 or more people!

    8. There is NO kid with cancer through the Make-a-Wish program in England
    collecting anything! He did when he was 7 years old. He is now cancer free
    and 35 years old and DOESN'T WANT ANY MORE POST CARDS, or GET-WELL CARDS.

    9. The government does not have a bill in Congress called 901B (or whatever
    they named it this week) that, if passed, will enable them to charge us 5
    cents for every e-mail we send.

    10. There will be NO cool dancing, singing, waving, colorful flowers,
    characters, or program that I will receive immediately after I forward an
    e-mail. NONE, ZIP, ZERO, NADA!

    11. The American Red Cross will NOT donate 50 cents to certain individual
    dying of some never-heard-of disease for every e-mail address I send this
    to. The American Red Cross RECEIVES donations.

    12. And finally, I WILL NOT let others guilt me into sending things by
    telling me I am not their friend or that I don't believe in Jesus Christ.
    If God wants to send me a message, I believe the bushes in my yard will burn
    before He picks up a PC to pass it on!


    Now, repeat this to yourself until you have it memorized, and send it along
    to at least 5 of your friends before the next full moon or you will surely
    be constipated for the next three months and all of your hair will fall out!
     
  2. So those pretty woman from the Porn sites don't really want to talk to me either? :(

    What's next...I suppose you're going to say there's no Easter Bunny or Santa??
     

  3. lol @ fish. mrfish, I think you read this at least 3 times a day!
     
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