It's a beautiful, warm spring morning and a man and
his wife are spending the day at the zoo. She's
wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress,
sleeveless with straps. He's wearing his normal jeans
and a T-shirt. The zoo is not very busy this morning.
As they walk through the ape exhibit, they pass in
front of a very large hairy gorilla. Noticing the
girl, the gorilla goes ape. (No pun intended)
He jumps up on the bars, and holding on with one hand
(and 2 feet), he grunts and pounds his chest with his
free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty lady
in the wavy dress.
The husband, noticing the excitement, thinks this is
funny. He suggests that his wife teases the poor
fellow some more. The husband suggests she pucker her
lips, wiggle her bottom at him, and play along.
She does, and Mr. Gorilla gets even more excited,
making noises that would wake the dead.
Then the husband suggests that she let one of her
straps fall to show a little more skin.
She does, and Mr. Gorilla is about to tear the bars
"Now try lifting your dress up your thighs and sort of
fan it at him." he says.... this drives the gorilla
absolutely crazy and now he's doing flips.
Then the husband grabs his wife by the hair, rips open
the door to the cage, flings her in with the gorilla
and slams the cage door shut.
Your average Cave Troll is unfortunately, your average Troll! Stupid, bad Tempered, nearly impossible to kill and very, very strong. Living in caves throughout the old world they sometimes venture out to raid villages for food.
Living in the highest peaks of the worlds edge mountains are the Mountain Trolls. Perhaps the most agile of all Trolls these brutes can jump from boulder to boulder rarely missing a step waiting for the unwary traveller to walk past before jumping out.
Most common throughout the Empire and Brettonia these Trolls are a villager's worst nightmare. Lurking underneath bridges and in the darkest rivers a villager never knows when a river Troll will burst from the water dragging its unfortunate victim to it's watery grave.
Even in the most inhospitable parts of the Old World Trolls can survive and breed. In the cold land of Norsca these are known as Snow Trolls. These are perhaps the most hardy of all Trolls, the constant winds and ice storms barely even budge a Snow troll who will stomp through the snow looking for a Norse outpost or baby mammoths.
I learn something new everyday. River Trolls, here all along I thought they hid in the bushes. Glad we don't have them in SW Ohio, I think they lurk with Big Foot in Central OH
Although we do get more than our share of bodies found in the river.
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