Caribou Dreamer2
08-30-2005, 11:50 AM
Top 8 "Morons"
> >>
> >> 1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP ???
> > > AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months,
> >> saying he lacked intellectual leadership.
> >> He received a $26 million severance package.
> > > Perhaps it's NOT Walter who's lacking intelligence.
> >>
> >>
> >> 2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
> > > Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman
> >> who had barricaded himself inside his home !!
> >> After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers
> >> discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line,
> >> shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."
> >>
> >>
> >> 3. WHAT WAS PLAN B ???
> > > An Illinois man , pretending to have a gun ,
> >> kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different
> >> automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw
> >> money from his own bank accounts.
> >>
> >>
> >> 4. THE GETAWAY !!!
> > > A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked
> >> for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too
> >> small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself
> >> for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
> >>
> >>
> >> 5. DID I SAY THAT ???
> > > Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just
> >> couldn't control himself during a lineup.
> >> When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words:
> >> "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted,,,,
> >> " that's not what I said !!!".
> >>
> > > 6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING ???
> > > A man spoke frantically into the phone:
> >> "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart
".
> > > "Is this her first child ???" the doctor asked !!
> > >. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband !!!"
> > >
> > >
> >> 7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED !!!
> > > In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold
up
> > > a Bank of America branch without a weapon.
> > > King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun ...
> >> Unfortunately ,,,, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.
> > > (hellooooooo)!
> >>
> >>
> >> 8. THE GRAND FINALE!!!
> > > Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert,
> >> an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating ,
> >> were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they
> >> couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish
> >> in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After
> >> about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby
> >> marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was
> >> wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working
> >> condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and
> >> the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina
> >> guys jumped in the water to check underneath...
> > > He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard !!
> >>
> >> NOW REMEMBER ,,,, THIS IS TRUE ,,,,
> >>
> >> Under the boat , still strapped securely in place ,,,,,
> > > was THE TRAILOR !!!
> >> { DUUUUHHHHH ,, WHERE's MY SIGN ??
> >>
> >> 1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP ???
> > > AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months,
> >> saying he lacked intellectual leadership.
> >> He received a $26 million severance package.
> > > Perhaps it's NOT Walter who's lacking intelligence.
> >>
> >>
> >> 2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
> > > Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman
> >> who had barricaded himself inside his home !!
> >> After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers
> >> discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line,
> >> shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."
> >>
> >>
> >> 3. WHAT WAS PLAN B ???
> > > An Illinois man , pretending to have a gun ,
> >> kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different
> >> automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw
> >> money from his own bank accounts.
> >>
> >>
> >> 4. THE GETAWAY !!!
> > > A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked
> >> for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too
> >> small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself
> >> for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
> >>
> >>
> >> 5. DID I SAY THAT ???
> > > Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just
> >> couldn't control himself during a lineup.
> >> When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words:
> >> "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted,,,,
> >> " that's not what I said !!!".
> >>
> > > 6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING ???
> > > A man spoke frantically into the phone:
> >> "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart
".
> > > "Is this her first child ???" the doctor asked !!
> > >. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband !!!"
> > >
> > >
> >> 7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED !!!
> > > In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold
up
> > > a Bank of America branch without a weapon.
> > > King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun ...
> >> Unfortunately ,,,, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.
> > > (hellooooooo)!
> >>
> >>
> >> 8. THE GRAND FINALE!!!
> > > Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert,
> >> an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating ,
> >> were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they
> >> couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish
> >> in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After
> >> about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby
> >> marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was
> >> wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working
> >> condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and
> >> the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina
> >> guys jumped in the water to check underneath...
> > > He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard !!
> >>
> >> NOW REMEMBER ,,,, THIS IS TRUE ,,,,
> >>
> >> Under the boat , still strapped securely in place ,,,,,
> > > was THE TRAILOR !!!
> >> { DUUUUHHHHH ,, WHERE's MY SIGN ??